Thursday, July 17, 2014

My life as a "normie" this far

It's been 1 1/2 years....

I have always said that I use my surgery as a tool.  As of lately though I have felt I need to put forth even more effort.  I feel that my stomach is stretching a little and that I'm eating more.  I'll be honest.  I don't like it.  I want to still be eating only half a burrito.  Or half a salad.  That's not the case.  I feel myself eating more of the salad, more of the chicken.  That's where I have made the cautious effort to watch my portions.  Let me just say this, I don't clean my plate or come close to it.  I just feel myself eating more than I did.  It's not by any means pigging out or anything of the such.  The way I used my surgery as a tool prior to this is I would eat healthier things but the surgery helped me control my portions.  Now that my stomach has relaxed though, it's where I have to watch what I eat and how much I eat.  It's still good and not out of control.  It just starts to make me nervous that I have to really pay attention now.  I know I will never allow myself to be where I was, but in the back of my mind there is "what if...".  I can totally see how people who have had this surgery start having eating issues (i.e. becoming anorexic, etc.).  Because I am aware of this I feel that I won't fall into that category. 

Just got to take it day by day.....

I keep forgetting also that I can shop in "normal" stores.  That part makes me laugh.  I forget that I can purchase clothes at Dillards, JC Penney, Old Navy, etc.  The Old Navy freaked me out.  Only because you have to purchase the women's plus online only.  So when I went in one day and was looking at dresses and I thought "I think I can wear this...".  I make my way to the dressing room and try it fits!  It was so exciting!!  Don't get me wrong, I'm kinda still in the "plus" side of things but definitely on the lower end :)

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there! You can do it. I find myself eating bigger portions and then regretting it afterwards. I think it's more of a mind thing than anything. And yay for Old Navy clothes!!