Just Keep Swimming

It's been 10 months...1 day....

I can't believe it's fixing to be my one year surgaversary!  Only 2 months left!  I posted a comparison picture on Facebook but wanted to post a different one for my blog (you know gotta keep the blog fresh :). 

The picture on the left was taken 49 weeks ago (according to Instagram) and the pic on the right was taken a week ago.  It's amazing how 10 months have changed my life.  I recently watched a video that I made for Extreme Makeover:Weight loss Edition and it was the part where I gave a full body shot so they could see all of me (one day I may try to do a still shot and do a comparison to it).  I'm not sure if I was in denial or just really did not know how big I had gotten.   I don't think I was in denial because I never denied that I was big, but I really honestly did not realize how big I was.  At the time I don't feel like I was depressed either, I mean ya we all have days that aren't that great but I don't feel I was in deep depression.  I feel more than anything I was numb.  Numb to how big I was, numb to feeling like that was all I was ever going to be, numb to a lonely life.   I know more than anyone that it sucks to feel like I am never going to get this weight off.  When you have so much to lose you start out and ya you may lose 60 lbs and to the normal person that would be great.  We (bigger people) get overwhelmed thinking about how much more you have to lose.  It is VERY overwhelming.  Even though I was one of those that it did happen to and I ended up gaining it back and then some, ended up being fortunate enough to have a surgery to use as a super tool to lose the weight, I want to encourage those that have done great so far on their weight loss to not give up.  It can feel like your going up a river while you're losing weight, but if you stop on the side of the bank, it is such an easy ride to right back to where you were down the river.  And when you start back again, it is as if you are going back up the river but with 10 pound weights on your ankles.   Don't stop!  You will eventually get there.  And all I can say is this side of the spectrum, being able to actually live....It's so much better than I EVER imagined. 

Just like Dory from Finding Nemo says .... "Just keep swimming"